The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

topic posted Tue, August 14, 2007 - 8:42 PM by  Unsubscribed
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I ran "Deviled" Blue Crab Stuffed Shrimp as a special last week. I got 25 lbs. of U-10 ("colossal") shrimp w/ their heads off, but still needed to be peeled, deveined, and butterflied. My dishwasher's allergic to shrimp (make his hands break out), so the prep was all on me.
I got about half-way through the task and I thought of how disgusting all the shrimp's shit veins and egg sacs really were. I had been discarding the nastiness in a hotel pan and there was quite a bit of it. I began to think of ways to share my disgust with others when inspiration struck..... I made some toast points, a tomato rose, gathered parsley sprigs, a lemon wedge.....and I put the raw, slimy shrimp shit on the toast points, made a nice presentation with the garnishes and sat the plate in the window, hoping a greedy server would jump the gun and try to sneak one.
The kitchen guys wandered by, saw the nicely presented dish and asked what it was. "Shrimp shit on toast, try one," was my casual reply. No takers, lots of utterly disgusted looks. There was the usual talk of who would eat one and for how much money, but still no serious takers.
As I began to stuff the cleaned shrimp, inspiration struck once again. I went into the walk-in, got a couple of shallots, and juleinned them into 2 inch strips. I lightly sauteed them in butter and added a little balsamic vinegar for color. I made some more toast points and very discreetly put them on a couple of the toast points. I took one of the shrimp shit toasts from the plate and threw it in the garbage.
I then walked down to the other line where everyone was working. "Y' know you guys are a bunch of pussies," I said w/ machismo as I shoved the whole piece of toast into my mouth and chewed it up. The looks of total mortification were absolutely PRICELESS! I put my headphones back on and walked back to my station. What they were saying I don't know, but they think I'm half-crazy anyway. I brought the platter back down to them (with the one missing piece to sell the fact that I'd eaten it) and asked if anyone would like to try one. After all, they "Weren't half bad once you got past the sliminess." I thought my boy Paul was going to HURL!
After a few minutes I couldn't resist, I took another one of the shrimp shit toasts off, threw it away, and walked back down to them w/ the platter in one hand and my shallot toast in the other. "You know, I'm actually starting to like this," I said as I popped the toast into my mouth. I really think I was causing them serious mental distress as they begged me to stop.
I Let them think about it for a few minutes and then asked if anyone would like to try my special balsamic shallot toast that I'd really been eating. I thought Paul was going to hit me when I told him, that's how good of a prank it was!
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  • Unsu...
     

    Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

    Sat, August 18, 2007 - 8:34 AM
    That is a pretty good one. Once after a hellish rush all my cooks and even my sous just walked off the line without so much as a wipe down. (gang smoke break)
    So I ran out to the drink station and filled 4 togo cups with ice and halfway up with club soda then I took them in back and filled them the rest of the way with soy sauce. They result looked a lot like the cola they all drank(brand name withheld because this ain't no stinking commercial).
    I put the tops on the cups and wrote each guy and gals name on one of the cups and set the tray at the end of the line. Well just about that time they all came back en masse. They say the apparently frosty colas sitting there and each grabbed one and said in unison "Thanks Chef!"
    Then they all took huge draws on their straws...........Can you say SPIT TAKE!
    I said,"Next time you walk out of the galley without policing your area you'll have to drink your own piss before I let you leave the line for a drink. So I was just trying to get you used to the salty taste you'll experience."
    2 weeks later I got a cup of coffee that was hot Worchestershire Sauce with cream and sugar in it.They couldn't believe that all I did was laugh about it.
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      Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

      Sat, August 18, 2007 - 1:50 PM
      wow golly geewillicker's, wish i had all that time to waste while getting paid to work...


      the best I can get away with is funelling a 1/4 cup of salt into the otherr guys rootbeer next to me.
      • Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

        Sun, August 19, 2007 - 10:51 AM
        oh geez lighten up
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          Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

          Sun, August 19, 2007 - 12:02 PM
          It's not really a prank but we used to take the fresh fish heads and wrap a napkin around them and give them smokes and we played with them. I know stuipid! We used also deep fry them until there eyeballs exploded. Hey we had to have some fun working in Hells Kitchen! Our chef was a jerk. Not as bad as Ramsey. BTW I absolutely love him! Can't wait to see Kitchen Nightmares.
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        Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

        Sun, August 19, 2007 - 6:13 PM
        "wow golly geewillicker's, wish i had all that time to waste while getting paid to work..."

        I wish you did, too, sounds like you need a new job.
        • Unsu...
           

          Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

          Mon, August 20, 2007 - 5:14 AM
          That was many years ago! I don't even think the place still exisits.

          I do need a new job - I'm moving out of state!
          • Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

            Mon, August 20, 2007 - 10:05 PM
            I had a server that would eat any prep that was left unattained so to get even with her I garnished a desert with the flesh of a preserved lemon she took a big mouth full and started chewing for a few seconds till it all came back out. But my favorite thing to do is before rendering duck fat I put it in the robot coup and puree it then tell people it is strawberry mousse. The veggies fall for it every time
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      Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

      Sun, August 19, 2007 - 8:23 PM
      Another one I did happened when a pot of strawberry glaze fell and spilled on the floor and when I found it and picked up the pot the pattern of the glaze on the floor looked a lot like the bleedout pattern of a head wounded person with the void the pot had caused being where the person's head had been on the floor. So I laod down on the floor with my head in the void and produced a dull eyed stare and waited. not 2 minutes later a waitress came around the corner with a coffee pot to clean. The volumne of her gasp and scream as she ran to the front of the house almost made me piss myself but I stayed still until she was out of sight and jumped up and grabbed a mop and cleaned up the glaze as quickly as I could and put up a wet floor sign and ran into the galley and started chopping onions for the omelette station. Just then the General manager the waitress and 5 other employees came running in back to see if there was anything to do. They couldn't see the galley from where they came back but the went to the prep area and didn't find me so they all started looking for me in a panic. They found me hard at work and when I firmly and deadpanly denied everything they all looked at the waitress like she had "cried wolf."
  • Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

    Mon, August 20, 2007 - 4:10 AM
    one of my faves to play on servers who are always looking for a free hand out is: oil and flour slurry caramel sauce.

    "Oh yeah, it is awesome, perfect consistency and every thing. Try it. I am so proud of this caramel sauce.........here is a spoon. Sure you can dip a piece of fruit into it."

    I also had fun getting people to taste the end of a newly spent CO2 cartridge, because the vanilla and sugar some how crystilize together on the end, and of course if it happens in time, it freezes to then end of thier tounge, jut long enough to leave a tender spot, and if they FREAK out, amd rip it from its frozen anchor, it will bleed just enough to be funny.......HAHAHAHAHA
  • Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

    Tue, August 21, 2007 - 1:18 PM
    We sliced up some kitchen rags once and double breaded them. Then we deep fried them and asked one of our favorite waiters what he thought of the new veal recepe. He took it in stride, and said "A little tough"
    • Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

      Tue, August 21, 2007 - 1:20 PM
      I worked on a golfcourse when I was in my salad prep days. We went out to the greens and got some of those white painted boulders. We wrapped them in saran, then aluminum foil, then seran again, labeled them "Turkey" and stuck them in the freezer.
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        Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

        Wed, August 22, 2007 - 9:04 PM
        "wow golly geewillicker's, wish i had all that time to waste while getting paid to work..."

        I wish you did, too, sounds like you need a new job.

        choke on a doughball. best you'll ever do is prep for the coldside, which is perfect since it seems to offer you ample time to slack off. Don't bust my ass about easing up.
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          Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

          Thu, August 23, 2007 - 6:39 AM
          "choke on a doughball. best you'll ever do is prep for the coldside, which is perfect since it seems to offer you ample time to slack off. Don't bust my ass about easing up."

          I'm actually the sous chef at a club that does an average of 80 covers a night, plus parties on the patio of 100+ four nights a week. The "wasted time" you made such a big deal out of was about 7 minutes, which I did while completing other tasks. So when YOU are my boss (my executive chef laughed his ass off BTW) I'll worrry about what YOU have to say, Miss High-N-Mighty.
          • Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

            Thu, August 23, 2007 - 7:02 AM
            hey sunny and Shawn ,chill remember were not in this because its going to get us that shiny Porshe in the driveway ,but because were good at it and we have fun at our job.
            • Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

              Thu, August 23, 2007 - 7:03 AM
              by the way my all time fave is to fill someones straw with Tobasco and then drop it back into their drink.
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                Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

                Thu, August 23, 2007 - 8:30 PM
                I wish I could say I'm even slightly impressed... but I could care less....

                I agree with Pablo that's all my fave too.
                • Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

                  Thu, August 23, 2007 - 8:46 PM
                  there are cleaning sponges, and facial sponges and......oh all kind of sponges, but I never knew of a fun sponge, a wet blanket, and cold fish JESUS CHRIST lighten up or you may die of a heart attack at the age of 40 and have never had a moment of fun in your whole life, I'd rather slack off a little here and there and have a laugh or two, than be such a stick in the mud that I have to even make that known online when other people just wanna have a little laugh. This should be a fun and creative proffesion with a lot of hard work, but the only group I can think of that is that nose to the grindstone and never gets a laugh might be accountants, and even then I doubt it, cuz I have seen em drink!
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
                    Unsu...
                     

                    Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

                    Fri, August 24, 2007 - 3:11 AM
                    Hey I am currently working in an accounting department in the Healthcare Industry - I have lot's of fun! I'm not a stick in the mud. I try and have fun no matter what job I'm doing cooking, cleaning, accounting, animal care, whatever. You have to have fun! We goof on eachother all day long and we still get the job done. We mess with our supervisors all the time. I think we would go insane if we didn't.

                    And yes I do like to drink - I am currently trying to set up a night out of nothing but drinking!

                    (I'm not offended by your comment)
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                      Re: The Ultimate Kitchen Prank?

                      Fri, August 24, 2007 - 4:38 PM
                      I will be leaving this job soon and I will be heading back into the kitchen. I miss it! At least this time it will be my OWN kitchen!

                      You guys seriously do need to chill out - come join me for massive amounts of beer and rum!

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